i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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