Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
