I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize