The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
