i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
