There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
