he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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