you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize