i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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