if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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