This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
