you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
