So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
