not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
