so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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