The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
