It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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