come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
