Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
