You made me cry and you don't even care
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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