This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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