I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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