honey bunches of taint.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
