I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
