I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
