omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
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