he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
