mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
