hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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