Whod you bang
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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