you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize