Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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