I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
