Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
