I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
