I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
