This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Drunk walkin through police station. America
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
There's even glitter on my cock...
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