just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
