I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
