My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
