it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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