that's an acceptable place to lick
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
