omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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