I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize