We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize