this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
