Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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