it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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