Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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