# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
