new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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