all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
