I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
