woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
