you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Randomize
