I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I am one with the molecules
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
