we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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