Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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