hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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